


Sunflower

by DonkeyASS



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 10:30:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17302994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DonkeyASS/pseuds/DonkeyASS
Summary: Park Chaeyoung says good bye to her virtual relationship and  travels 7,638 kilometers from Melbourne to see her girlfriend, Lisa Manoban after 2 years





	Sunflower

“Mom I’ll be heading out now.”

“Chae, sweetie- are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Yes mom. We’ve talked about this and you guys all think I needed this one too.”

Mrs. Park sighs. “Come here you.” She says, pulling her youngest into a comforting hug. “I just want to see you happy that’s all.”

“When I come home, it’s going to be a different Chaeyoung I promise.”

“Not too different I hope?”

“No mom.” The blonde-haired woman smiled. “Almost similar but never the same type of different.”

 

She kisses her mom on the cheek farewell before getting on the passenger seat with her dad driving. He honks the car announcing their departure to her wife before driving out of the highway and onto the airport. The car ride was dead silent and Chaeyoung understood that because unlike her mother who always speaks on what was going through her mind, her father was the exact opposite of it. She never really understood how did they managed to stay this long despite their differences but just like what she always say-

 

_“It’s obvious Chae, opposites do attract.”_

_"No, I don’t believe that for one second. Opposites don’t attract to one another.”_

_“Well then how do you explain how batteries work?”_

_“But that’s the thing- we’re not batteries. We’re humans- humans who fall for people who actually fall for someone who has the same taste as ours.”_

_“But you fell for me right?”_

_The Korean native couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “We’re different.”_

_“Which is why I conclude that I won this argument.”_

_“Fine, I’m gonna let you win only because you know I’m soft for you.”_

_“You’re always soft for me.”_

_“That’s because I love you.”_

 

 

“Chae?” She turns to her dad who had this worried look on his eyes. “We’re gonna arrive at any minute now. I’d just like you to prepare yourself.”

“It’s fine dad, I’ve talked to my team and they’ve already fooled the public. I won’t be swarmed this time.”

“I wasn’t talking about them, I was talking about yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“Once you get on that plane and arrived there- her mom’s going to fetch you and there’s no way of going back.”

“I know.”

“I just want you to know that I may not be a fan of words, but I think it’s about time you face her you know?” He says. “I know you’re scared, but you deserve this. We all think you deserve this, including her.”

That was close to bring her to tears but she gather her composure and smiles. “Thanks for driving me dad. I’ll see you real soon yeah?”

-

 

“Are you Miss Chaeyoung Park?”

“That’s me.”

“Oh good. My name’s Sorn by the way but I’m sure you know it. Auntie couldn’t pick you up so-“ She raises both of her shoulders wordlessly saying that she was stuck with her.

“I hope you’re okay with that.”

“It’s fine.” She answers with a smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person.”

“Me too Chaeyoung.” The Thai smiles back. “Now, we should really head home because there’s still lots to do.”

 

For the very first time, Chaeyoung was able to experience the Thailand heat beneath her skin. She looks at the window pane, trying her best to listen to what Sorn was saying but she was still busy processing that she was here. After felt like an eternity- she’s finally here. And she was going to see her for the very first time.

 

_“How do you think the world had plan for us to meet?”_

_“Pfft, that’s a pretty random question.”_

_“Random questions are the best.”_

_“Well… I’d like to think either of us would visit one another. Me being in Australia or you being in Thailand. We would show each others’ culture and traditions, show what’s the best secret spots in the area and of course- the highlight. Meeting each others’ family.”_

_Chaeyoung giggled. “You think your family would like me?”_

_The latter gasped. “Are you serious?! My dad takes forever to warm up to someone and yet one wide smile from you and he instantly crumbles. He even favors you nowadays!_ _Always talking about that I should care about you and love you because there’s no one else who would accept a dork like me.”_

_“Come on, we both know that’s not true. A lot will fall in love with you, such a shame I came first.” She smiles. “It took a while for your dad to come around about us but I’d still like to think my smile was a great contribution.”_

_“Your smile is so bright that the sun is shaking.” The blonde haired girl smiles as she sees the pink-haired woman laughing her heart out. “I’m just saying you know.”_

_“If I’m beating the sun, then we can’t be together. I will burn you and your wings. I’ll destroy you, you know.”_

_“We fall in love with the things and people that destroy us Chaeyoung. That’s one of the cruel things we humans have to experience. But with you- every cruel thing is worth going through.”_

 

 

“Sorn?” She says out of nowhere. “Can we get some flowers?”

“Sure.”

 

 

They stopped by a local flower shop and Chaeyoung carefully scans around the types of flowers displayed. Sorn sensed that she was having a hard time, she stands right next to the girl and recommended some flowers. The Korean woman politely accepts her suggestions but clearly her mind is onto something else.

 

“Can you ask her if she’s selling any sunflower?”

Sorn’s expression was confused. “A sunflower?” Chaeyoung nods her head. “Well, it’s not their season yet but I’m gonna ask.”

“Thank you.” She waits for the girl to finish talking to the vendor and continues to roam around the area.

“Hey Chae, she said she doesn’t have much sunflower. She does have one, but it’s not in perfect quality.”

“It’s alright- I’ll take it.”

“Okay.” Sorn went back to talking to the vendor who went inside the shop and returns later with a single sunflower in hand.

“Here you go.” She hands the lady cash but she declines. “Why is she not accepting the money?”

“She asked me why were you looking for a sunflower. I told her you were going to give it to your girlfriend whom you’re going to meet for the first time so she gives this to you for free.”

Chaeyoung beams and gives thanks to the lady. “Thank you.”

The vendor smiles in return. “Go, meet girlfriend right now.” She says in her broken english.

 

They arrived in the household who were so busy with the finishing touches. Flowers were found everywhere and all the staffs- she presumed were busy with all the flower arrangements. Sorn lead her through the main house where she sees in a woman in her exact 40 giving instructions to all of the workers.

 

“Auntie.” Sorn cuts her off.

 

The woman gives Sorn a brief look before looking at Chaeyoung who was nervously standing there in the corner, holding onto the sunflower tightly. She gives the very first smile she could give- and the woman rushes to her side and give her the warmest hug she has received from a stranger.

 

They pull away after seconds of contact and the woman wipes her tears away. “You’re just in time. We were just about to start.”

“Glad to make it just in time.” She manages to say.

“Let’s go inside.”

 

 

The woman ushers her into the veranda where she could see all the guests gathered. She sits right beside of another two familiar faces sitting who wore the same dark clothing as hers.

 

“Hey Chaeyoung.”

“Hi Jennie, Jisoo.” She bows down to the two. “Did you two just arrived too?”

“We’ve been here since last week. Jisoo thought it would be a nice idea to show support for auntie.”

Chaeyoung turns to Jisoo, another best friend her girlfriend met online. “That’s so thoughtful of you Jisoo.”

“We’re the crackhead duo.” She smiles faintly. “It’s the least I could do.”

 

She was about to continue on with the conversation but the monk right in front of them, along with other monks started doing prayers and Chaeyoung looks at the pamphlet that was handed to her earlier and started reciting the prayers and other traditions needed to be practiced within the day.  
After the ceremony, they gathered back to the house where Chaeyoung saw everything the girl liked. She was personally assisted by the parents who talked to her along with their daughter’s foreign friends whom she made through online.

They were soon given glasses of wine much to the guests’ surprise since they knew about the traditions of the ceremony but the father stood up with a wine in his hand and looked at the crowd.

 

“I know it’s against the tradition but I feel like if my daughter was here, she’d whine how are we not getting wine and loose on her day.” He smiles. “My daughter- my lovely and bright daughter- was the sun of our lives…”

“She would always know what to say or what to do whenever her mother and I would have a bad day at work, she would know everything with just a look and whenever she’s in the vicinity, everything just seemed to brighten. She was that kind of person.”

“And now- with her gone, even after a year, I…” He trails off- closing his eyes tightly. “I’m still not used to it. We’re still not used to continue with our days without any sun shining upon us.”

“All of you know of what kind of battle life has brought upon our own daughter. Lisa was raised as a fighter and an optimist in life and we all believed that she would win against her sickness but I guess life will always take you by surprise because just like how the sunset disappears from our eyes- Lisa was gone like that too.”  
“But despite of the pain, I am so happy to know that Lisa did live the best of her days. Even when she was stuck in the hospital, she never gave up on being a sun to other people and I’ve proven that now since most of you are people she has met online. She created friendships, saved lives, made wonderful memories, had a great laugh and most of all-“ He gives Chaeyoung a knowing look and smile on his face. “She fell in love.”

“And so, I want this day to end with us laughing and just enjoy our wonderful memories that Lisa left us all with. Let’s cry, let’s dance, let’s tell stories about how you met Lisa and how she left you with a little ray of sunshine.” He smiles and raises his glass. “To Lisa, our sunshine.”

“To Lisa.”

 

-

 

“Chaeyoung?” Mrs. Manoban lightly taps her shoulder. “Hey there.”

“Hi Mrs. Manoban.”

The woman smiles and sits beside her. “Thank you for coming.”

“I honestly thought that I wouldn’t be able to go because of my schedule but I just realized that I needed this one.”

“I know it’s hard for you sweetie and I’m sorry if Lisa hasn’t spoken a thing about her situation. I tried talking to her I really did.”

“It’s alright I guess, I knew Lisa had her own reasons for not telling me the truth.”

“She was just scared that you’d leave her once you found out about her sickness Chaeyoung, I hope you understand. Lisa has been in love before I know but she has never been in love with the way she was with you. She was so scared honey, she was so scared of losing you.”

“Still, don’t you think I deserved to know?” She couldn’t help but raise her voice out of frustration. “Don’t you think I should be given the chance to decide for myself instead of her deciding for me? I get that she was scared of losing me, but if I could ask her right now, I’d ask her was she ever scared of leaving first?”

“The day she was going to tell you everything was the day of your audition for your dream. She told me that you were so hyped up and scared but really excited that day and that she couldn’t risked it for you. So she kept silent- and whenever she tried, you were already asleep or busy with your rising career.”

“And that’s what I regretted the most.” She says. “If I had known, then I would’ve ditched everything I had just to be with her.”

“We both know that’s not what Lisa wants to happen.” She says. “My daughter loved you with ever last fighting cell in her body and she wanted you to be happy. She knew how much you love music and how creative you are in that craft.”

“I’m sorry I just-“ She sighs, trying to control her emotions. “I am so in love with her and you don’t know how much I wished to go back in time and risked everything from there.”

“Lisa is so lucky to have you darling. And just so you know, you already made a risk when you love her despite the distance that you had. She may be the sun in our lives- _but you were the one in hers._ ”

 

 

The rest of the night remained with them finally letting the wine take over their body. The guests did laughed with one another disregarding the fact that most of them met for the first time, some of them danced to Lisa’s favorite songs and some cried during their talks.  
It was a very unsual funeral, but all of them knew that Lisa wouldn’t want it any other way to happen.

Chaeyoung was still up even though it was almost time for sunrise. She couldn’t remember how much wine she had consumed or how many times she had been to the dancefloor or how many times she had laughed while talking to the people who had a portion of Lisa’s sunshine. She looks around and somehow she locked eyes with her girlfriend’s father who moved his head to the side, telling her to follow him. She grabs the sunflower, and stood up, following him into the narrow hallway of the house down to the sunken garden which she never thought that this household would have.

  
The pink-haired woman finally stops her tracks the moment she sees a small green house in the part of the garden. Mr. Manoban approaches the main door and unlocks it before turning back to her.

 

 

“You did say you want to meet her right?”

“Is this…” She widens her eyes. “Are you-“

“When I read your message, I thought to myself that this is the least that I could do for you both. You wanted to let go, and I think it’s only right that you end this chapter in your life, by meeting her for the first time.”

She runs to him and gives him a hug. “Thank you so much.”

“I didn’t regret what I said to you though, if someone asks me who’s my daughter-in-law I’d still say your name.” That causes for her to giggle. “Now, go on and take your time while I make breakfast for everyone. Feel free to take anything you like, you deserve one of those.”

 

He gives her a quick kiss in the forehead before leaving her on her own in that place. Chaeyoung looks at the door who was already slightly open, before she sighs out to no one and enters the room.

The inside was already a masterpiece. There were all kinds of cactus and plants surrounding the area, and among those botanical things, were the things that Lisa so hold dearly because she knew every single thing about them and the story that they hold.

This was her very first camera held and from then on it striked upon her that she would be the best photographer in the whole world. Her favorite pink beanie that she would always wear whenever they’re talking and even her favorite toy which belonged to her cats Leo and Luca. Now she understood what was Mr. Manoban talking about and she felt happy knowing that Lisa’s parents were kind enough to let her leave the place with a piece of Lisa with her.

  
After admiring the mini-museum of the blonde girl, she turns her head to the side and finally sees the container. It made her heart thump fast, made her swallow the invisible lump on her throat and made her weak in the knees. It was a struggle to walk towards the thing but somehow after a few mental encouragements she managed to do so and now, after being away from the love of her life she was finally here. She had finally accomplished what she had been longing for all this time.

 

 

To erase the 7,638 kilometers of distance between them and to meet each other in person.

 

 

It wasn’t like she had in mind though. In her mind, she and Lisa would be busy texting one another about where Lisa would wait for her and other general instructions she would need to follow once she had arrive in the airport. She would go out, see Lisa who will probably have this cute yet artsy welcome sign and she would ditch whatever luggage she was holding and jump in her arms and hug her tight. She would finally see her, smell her and most importantly- she would touch her.

 

 

But you don’t get what you always want in life.

 

She stands in front of the porcelain figure sighing out loud to no one. “We finally meet Lisa.” She says. “And for starters, this isn’t what I had in mind but then I’m sure that this wasn’t in yours either so I guess we never got what we wanted.”

“Your mom’s a darling as expected and your dad… Is really something else. I also met your friends, Bambam and Sorn. I know they were the causes of our fights sometimes and you told me not to disregard whatever feeling I had because they could never be me but during the ceremony, I saw them and it dawned to me that they both probably had more time spent with you, and it angered me.”

“It angered me because I knew deep down, they were the privileged ones who were able to see you personally, they were there to support you, to hold your hand, to tell you that everything’s fine and those things- were the things I wasn’t able to do, because you kept your condition a secret.”

“Your mom told me that you did that because you were scared of losing me but then I thought did you never feel my fear of losing you? Was there something lacking in my ability to show you my love that you couldn’t trust me? There were a lot of questions that were swarming into my mind when I found out and I know you told me that we shouldn’t let fear decide for us but looking back- I wished I did.”

“Maybe then I would’ve booked the next flight to Thailand just to see you or book you to come and see me. I would’ve convinced my family harder that what we have isn’t something temporary and millenial but what we have was raw, pure, innocent and authentic. I would’ve told them that what we felt for one another could never be expressed in words, and I would’ve told them that you’re my sunshine- the one who brings brightness in my dimmed life.”

“Maybe they would’ve allowed me to come or maybe I would just not tell them and risk it everything just to see you. If I did those things, I would’ve kissed your lips and made a conclusion in my guess on a scale of one to ten how kissable your lips are.” She looks down, playing with her painted fingers. “But how am I going to do that now Lisa?”

“Your dad told in his speech that you never would’ve wanted to see us be sad and depressed because you were gone so he told us to cry, laugh, talk and dance the pain away. I’ve done almost of those things, except one thing.” She says as she looks at the thing. “I still haven’t cried.”

“I…” She breathes, trying her best not to let her tears fall. “I’m trying so hard not to cry but all the what if’s all the future I planned for us- it all came crushing down right in front of me… I will never be able to spend at least a holiday vacation with you, I will never be out with you on a date and-“ She bites her lower lips as she looks away. “I will never get to hold your hand or see you, and that makes it so painful for me.”

 

 

All the walls that Chaeyoung had been building up this entire day has finally crumbled down. The need of showing that she was strong, the desire to show everyone that she was handling her girlfriend’s sudden death well and that she accepts it, the urge to look at every bit of her lover’s home town and not crave for her existence right there.  
She kneels down, hands on both her lap as she continues to sob her heart out. Chaeyoung remembers the first time she cried this hard and it was when she lost her favorite fish in the world. It was kind of similar with her situation now, but Lisa was not just a fish in the sea- Lisa was the only fish for Chaeyoung.

 

“All of them tell me that I should just meet you finally so I could put an end into your chapter in my life and looking at you right now makes it so hard for me to let go. I know if you hear me you’re going to think that I’m plain stupid because I refuse to let go of loving a girl who no longer exist.”

“But that’s the thing Lisa, I believe that even if you’re no longer here- I could still feel you. I could feel you wherever I go, like you’re always with me. Even if I’m standing here, talking to you remains, I believe you’re here somewhere listening and probably crying to everything I was saying because we both know you’re the crybaby between us.”

“And even if you’re gone and our time being together was cut short, I do think I have learned so much from loving you and me feeling your love. You taught me how to be brave and just take risks, to go for something that scares you because not everything that scares you destroys you- but you can see an opportunity to grow as a person moreover a chance to give happiness to yourself.”

“So thank you for those things Lisa… Thank you for making me happy, thank you for loving me and for allowing me to be your last love. You may not be my last- but I hope you know the fact that you, Lisa Manoban will be the greatest love of my life. The kind of love that whenever I am reminded of us and our relationship- nothing will come out from my lips except good memories and smiles.” She looks up and finally gives out a smile to the remains. “I love you so much Lisa… I hope you know that. I will always love you.”

 

Suddenly there was a brief breeze that passed by that it surprised Chaeyoung. She looked around to see if there were any chance that a breeze as comfortable as that could pass by but she saw nothing. It was a glass house and it was Thailand, it was totally impossible to feel that kind of breeze in this area.

She turns back to the last memories of Lisa’s body inside the jar and smiles. Somehow, she understood what the breeze meant and though it was too crazy to think that it was logical and acceptable, Chaeyoung knew it was the blonde’s fault and that brought a relief in her. Because she will leave this place, knowing that Lisa knows how much she loves the girl.

Chaeyoung walks towards the creamated body and softly places the sunflower underneath it. She leans in and gives the jar a long kiss before turning around with a content smile and a weight lifted off of her shoulders. She stops mid-way and sees a camera dangling. Following Lisa’s dad offer, she grabs the camera before leaving the place and runs back to the veranda where she saw the perfect view of the sunrise.

Placing the camera right in front of her, she made some adjustments before snapping the picture. She lets out a relieved sigh, thankful that she was able to catch the sunrise before the start of the day.

 

Park Chaeyoung left Thailand leaving a piece of her there and with the realization that she could never end Lisa’s chapter in her life right there. Because Lisa was never just a chapter in her life.

 

Lisa Manoban was an entire book, the one that she would never get tired of reading. Lisa Manoban is her sunshine- _her sunflower_.

 

 

Fin.


End file.
